Did My Narcissistic Mate Mean to Hurt Me?
How to understand why the narcissist in your life causes you so much pain.
There is one question that I have been asked by virtually everyone who has had a serious romantic relationship with a person who turned out to have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Did they mean to hurt me?
This question comes in many forms. If you have been hurt by a narcissistic mate, you have probably wondered some of the following things:
- Did they want to hurt me?
- Did they do that on purpose?
- Do they understand how painful this is to me?
- Do they even care what I feel as long as they get their way?
- How can they say they love me and still say and do such awful things to me?
The answer is more complicated than a simple “yes” or “no.” The short answer is that sometimes they did mean to hurt you and sometimes they were so focused on their own needs and feelings that they did not take the time to think about how you might be affected by their actions.