How and Why Narcissists Are Highly Skilled Abusers
You don’t have to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to be abusive. Your average jerk, sadist, or sociopath/psychopath can wreak staggering damage. And yet there is nothing quite like the insidious devastation of narcissistic trauma.
People with NPD are exceptionally skilled abusers with a kind of algorithm that makes their abuse particularly destructive.
The NPD Equation
unstable identity + lack of self-esteem + low empathy = pathologically manipulative, exploitative, abusive personality
Stunted children likely treated to abuse/neglect or overindulgence when very young, people who develop NPD fail to form a core sense of self or empathy. Narcissists do not establish emotionally mature and stable identities, self-esteem, and feelings of compassion for others. Their fundamental psycho-emotional emptiness leads them to continuously seek validation externally rather than from within. Their parasitic need for validation from others exacerbates their lack of empathy, leading to highly manipulative and abusive behavior to feed their endless need for attention, admiration, and control.
Those intimately familiar with narcissists know too well their emotionally, psychologically, and often physically abusive actions, which surface day to day, often hour to hour. For those on the receiving end, people with NPD often seem monstrous. They cause extraordinary trauma, particularly in the lives of those closest to them, with little to no remorse.